Been a While

I have been a little MIA from my main blog. I apologize to anyone that actually reads it! :) Life has been a little crazy with three kids. So, let's see what's been going on in the past few months...

1. Had another injection in my back.
2. Started physical therapy 2 times a week.
3. Preston turned 18 months!!
4. Carter turned 4!!
5. Liam is now 6 months!!
6. I got my photography business off the ground.
7. I started a new diet.

That's all I can think of for now. Hopefully in the next couple of weeks I can blog enough to get everyone caught up on our lives! :)

Excited

I am finally excited to be getting my life back. These past couple of months have been some tough ones. They have been great, don't get me wrong. I have just been struggling with things. Having a newborn is always a little rough. It's hard just to find that groove and routine and then to have that mesh with the routine of what is already established with the rest of the family.

Liam has been a great baby! He is very laid back and is happy as can be as long as he is in his bouncy seat. He hates the swing but LOVES the bouncy seat. He has been napping in that thing since we brought him home from the hospital. I finally had him take a nap in his crib yesterday. It was the first time he had ever slept in his room. At night, he will sleep for a solid 6 hours and sometimes longer. He is still sleeping in the pack n' play next to me. I really like him in our room so I'm not sure when I will move him to his room. I plan on having him take naps in his room from now on, though, so he can get used to his bed.

I went on Thursday and had my first injection in my back. It was a very simple procedure. They sedated me and then I woke up and went home. I had to ask a nurse if they even did the injection because I didn't even know I had gone to sleep. It was crazy. I have finally had some relief. The pain isn't completely gone but it is tolerable. Last week, I did decide to switch Liam over to formula. This allowed me to take other medications to help with the pain. Part of me is okay with switching him and part of me is upset. I'm sad that I gave in and sad that I will never have the opportunity to nurse another child. I am happy, though, for selfish reasons. I can now go out without him and not worry about feeding him or needing to pump. I reassure myself that I did what was best for my family and for myself. He had breastmilk for a solid 6 weeks and that is better than nothing. I cannot put guilt on myself for this.

Another thing I have been struggling with is post partum depression. I had feared this since I was already having these feelings while pregnant. Looking back, I think I might have had a bit of ppd after Carter was born but not to this degree. I am normally a very happy and opitmistic person. However, this past month has been an uphill battle for some reason. I know the thoughts I have and feelings I have are irrational but I can't make them stop. I sometimes think I'm going a little crazy. I know I have a very supportive husband and very supportive group of friends. However, I have never felt so alone. I can't explain it. I have a great doctor who is very on top of my meds and has kept communication open with me on me getting better. These past few days have been better. I am finally feeling like myself again. It is so refreshing to see the light. I feel like I am becoming alive again, as cheesy as that sounds.

Tonight, I have been wasting a lot of time on the computer which I normally don't get to do. I have been reading blogs and finding other blogs from friends of friends and etc. I ran across a blog of a photographer based out of Abilene. I then continued over to her website. She is an amazing photographer. She captures true emotions in the people she photographs. She had the perfect music and I normally don't like music on website but hers was perfect. I was drawn to her website and couldn't leave until I had seen all of the pictures she posted in her galleries. She inspired me. She made me realize, again, why I want to become a photographer. I want to capture those moments in time. I want to give people that gift. I want emotions captured that words cannot express.

I have put my photography on the backburner these past couple of months. I'm not sure if it's because I have been busy with a newborn and two other boys or because I've just been down. But the fire has been lighted again. I cannot wait to start taking pictures again and finishing up the class I signed up for 6 months ago. I'm excited to learn something new daily and put it into action. I'm excited to spread the word to friends and family so I can take pictures of other people besides my kids! :)

It is amazing what one website and the abscense of pain can do! So, all of this to say that I'm excited about life and what's to come!!

First Night Away From Home

John and I dropped Carter and Preston off with Grandma and Papa(John's parents) this morning. Carter was so excited to go over there. As soon as we told him he was going he kept asking to go now. I hadn't even gotten out of bed. When I told him I had to shower and get dressed he told me that I could do that afterwards.

This is the first time for me to spend a night away from Preston. I never understood the moms that had a hard time leaving their children overnight. I never had that problem with Carter. I'm not sure if it was due to the fact that I spent his first 2 weeks of life away from him while he was in NICU or the fact that I had to go back to work when he was only 8 weeks old or what. But I totally get it now. I know Preston will be just fine and Beckie will take great care of him. I just miss the little guy. It is nice to have a quiet house but goodness, it is almost too quiet!

After we dropped the boys off, we ran to the bank, ate some lunch and went to see a movie. We are in money saving mode so we decided to go the dollar movie. We saw Star Trek. I am not a Star Trek fan by any means but the movie was really good. It almost made me want to start watching the show...almost. lol We then ran over to Babies R Us and came back home. John has been working a little bit and I have been cleaning out Carter's room.

Speaking of cleaning out rooms...it is a lot of work. I need to get all of Baby's clothes put away but right now all of Preston's clothes are still in the nursery. So, I need to move all of Preston's stuff into Carter's room but before I do that I have to make room. I have been putting away clothes that don't fit Carter and just cleaning things out and organizing. Maybe it's the nesting kicking in but I really want it all done before Baby comes.

We are getting ready to go out to eat. We have decided to have John's birthday dinner tonight. He chose Red Lobster so we are off to Red Lobster and then to Cold Stone Creamery. Nothing fancy but it will be nice to have adult conversation without kid interruptions. Granted, we will probably just talk about the kids the whole time! :)

Our Newest Additions

We have added a couple of new additions to the Manning household to make our lives a little easier. We child proofed our house when Carter was little but never completely. Since he was in daycare the majority of the time, there just simply wasn't the need to or he was just that good of a kid! :) So, since Preston has turned into a crawler he has also turned into a climber. We are having to make sure that all of the doors in our hallways are closed, otherwise you will find him playing in the potty or pulling Carter's nightstand on top of him! :) I have been a little freaked out how that is going to play a role in having a newborn around. So, we invested in a gate that bolts into the walls and blocks off the entry way. Now, the kids are able to stay in the living room and kitchen which are both pretty safe. We did teach Carter how to open the gate so he can come and go as he pleases. Right now it is still a novelty and he wants to constantly go in and out - kinda defeats the purpose but I'm hoping that wears off soon.

The other addition isn't quite geared towards baby proofing but is heaven sent!! The Roomba!! I have wanted one for so long and we FINALLY got one. We didn't get the top of the line one that you can schedule and everything but we turn it on as we are going to bed and we wake up to a freshly vacuumed living room every morning! I LOVE IT! He were going to have it do both the kitchen and living room every night but evidently when it is over a black rug it thinks it's falling off a cliff and stops altogether and the area rug under our kitchen table is mostly black. So, we run it in the kitchen a couple of times a week while we are awake and help it start again. Nothing like getting a chore done while you sleep!!!

New Favorite Bible Verse

All of our boys have what we call silkies. They are the best things in the world. Both Carter and Preston are very attached to theirs. My nephew, Cayden, was the first in our family to have a silkie and I think he called them his binky. Anyways, you can get a little piece of fabric sewn on the side of it that says, "Under His wing God showers me with comfort. 2 Cor 1:15." I have made sure to get all of our silkies with this as I think it has a great meaning. I just ordered Baby #3's silkie with his name on it and so excited to have gotten in the mail the other day. On the package there is a sticker and it says:

Precious is God's unfailing love

Trust in the shadow of His wings

Psalms 36:7

This just spoke volumes to me this past week. We have been praying for Baby and his health and I need to always remember this verse! I hope all of my kids can feel the comfort of knowing God and trusting in him!

Fun with the blog!!

I have been trying to get creative with this blog and customize it a little more. I have had a ton of help with websites that provide free backgrounds but nonetheless I have made it more "me." I am pretty dang proud that I was brave and gave a shot at adding pictures to the header and it did take a little bit of time as I'm getting more familiar with photoshop but I'm very happy with the result. I asked John if he would help me learn more about HTML and he said no. lol I asked if I could take a class and again he said no. I guess I will have to depend on the Internet to teach me. What did we do before the Internet??? Anyways, I just had to share my excitement! :)

Good Kiss

Like all 3 year olds, Carter sometimes says the most random things. It always catches me off guard and makes me laugh. Last week while he was sick we let him sleep in our room on the floor. Well, he was still awake when John and I were going to sleep. John and I kissed and said goodnight to each other. As soon as we kissed Carter says, "Good kiss guys, good kiss!"

I Feel Like A Real Adult!!

John and I finally took the plunge and finally got ourselves brand new bedroom furniture. It is something that we have been wanting to do for a long time but it just never fit into our budget. It still didn't completely fit but it was definitely time. We were both so tired of having mix matched furniture and our kids had nicer furniture than we did. My cousin, Brittany, told me about Weirs Furniture Clearance. Weirs Furniture is known for its well built quality furniture and to find out they had pieces we could afford was very exciting. It only took one trip there and we picked out exactly what we wanted. We upgraded to a king size bed which is heavenly!!! We bought the bed, two night stands, 5 draw chest, and entertainment chest. We also got our new mattress from them. It is the first time either of us has had a truly good quality mattress. Our room finally looks like a REAL grown ups room. lol As soon as I get the bedding we want I will take pictures.

Mixed Emotions *Warning - Hormonal Moment :)

Lately, I have been having very mixed emotions when it comes to baby #3. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be more excited to welcome another little boy into our family. He is going to have 2 awesome big brothers and is going to fit right in.

My sadness I feel is more towards what this means for Preston. I had 2 1/2 whole years with Carter. I got to enjoy his growing and he got to enjoy me and John as well. I kinda feel like Preston is going to get the short end of the stick. I know he won't know any different but I know. I feel like part of me is rushing him to grow up a little because I just don't know if I can handle a 3 1/2 year old and two babies. I really want him to be walking by the time #3 is born which looks like he will be doing anyways on his own but I hate actually wanting it to happen that quickly. I feel like I'm going to miss out on spending more one on one time with him. This past year, we have had two days a week for 5 hours each of those two days it was just me and him. Being a stay at home mom has allowed me to really get to know him and I cherish every moment. I can't thank John enough for allowing me to have the privilege of staying home with our kids. I have been on both ends of the spectrum. I worked for 2 years of Carter's life and sent him to daycare every day. Granted he learned a ton and is a little social butterfly now because of it but I now see the benefit of really getting to know your child when you stay at home. I didn't know Carter as well as I know Preston. I never did know what his cries meant and I do with Preston. It makes me sad to think that I couldn't give that to Carter. But now, I'm going to be taking away a little from Preston. I have learned to balance my time with two boys. I will take Carter with me sometimes on the weekends to run errands. It is so much fun when it's just the two of us. And I have one on one time with Preston all the time. My fear is that with a newborn, how will that affect my attention on my other kids. Carter is such a big helper and understands a lot. Preston, on the other hand, won't be able to understand it at all. Carter is anticipating another baby coming into our family. He knows what that means and what that entails. Preston doesn't. How is he going to understand that Mommy won't be able to hold him all the time? Will he allow someone else to comfort him when I can't? I have never spent a night away from Preston. What will he think when I'm in the hospital for 4 days? He is such a momma's boy and I can't begin to imagine what his adjustment to a little brother is going to be like.

If you made it this far then I applaud you! :) lol I think I really needed to get all of my current feelings out there. I know it will all work out in the end and a lot of people have kids close in age. I think this next year is going to be a very tough one for everyone in our little family but I do look forward to all of the fun we are going to have!

Sweet Dreams

Tonight, as I was putting Preston to bed, Carter comes out of his room to give Preston hugs and kisses goodnight, again. Carter is such a good big brother! Well, tonight he said his usual, "Goodnight, Preston. I love you." Then he proceeded with, "Have sweet dreams about me!" I couldn't help but laugh. I always tell Carter to have sweet dreams but have never told him what to dream. It was just so cute and innocent.

Big Boy!

Preston has been feeling heavier lately and so I decided to weigh him. I'm not sure how accurate it is since I get on the scale with him and then without him but today he weighed a whopping 21.6 pounds!!!! That is only 6-7 pounds lighter than Carter and they are 2 1/2 years apart.

Like Father Like Son

This is how we found Carter sleeping tonight. He is definitely all boy!! :)

The Best Carter in the World

Before Carter had a brother, we always told him that he was the best son and our favorite son in the world. John even made up a song about it when Carter was a newborn and it calmed him down instantly. Well, it came up the other day and I couldn't really figure out what to say since we now have two sons, technically three. Before I even had a chance to come up with something clever, Carter shouted out, "I"m the best Carter in the World!!" And I immediately jumped on board. So now he reminds us daily that he is the best Carter in the World and I couldn't agree more.

He has moved on to tell me that Preston is the best Preston in the world, Baby is the best baby, I'm the best mommy, and John is the best daddy. It is amazing what a three year old can come up with!

Rude Comments

It cracks me up at the comments people make to pregnant women. I was on the receiving end of countless rude comments while pregnant with Preston.

"Are you sure there aren't twins in there?"
"Do you really think you are going to make it to your due date?"
and they go on and on...

Well, at 20 weeks they have already started. While checking out at Target the other day the cashier asked how far along I am and when I told her 20 weeks, her reaction was, "Wow, you're going to be huge!"

Really?!? Is it really necessary to make such comments??? This is what happens when a 4'11" woman has a baby, especially big babies!!

I have also heard many many comments on having kids 13 months apart.

"How did that happen?"
"Have you figured out what causes that?"
and the best one..."You know they make pills for that."

No, we did not plan on having kids so close in age but that was what God had planned for us. We are extremely blessed and so excited to have three boys that will grow up close in age. I just know they will all be the best of friends.