Saying Goodbye

There has always been one man in my life that I have looked up to more than anyone on this earth and that is my PaPa. He has a heart of gold and would do anything for anyone. When I think of him I think of the way he is constantly sucking to get things out of his teeth...sounds gross but it isn't. lol I think of the way he laughs. I think about how he loves to play card games. I can even remember the way he smelled when he worked driving an oil truck. I remember playing in his garden. I remember how I would sit in his lap while he drove and he would let me "drive." I have so many memories of him and love him beyond words. I love the fact that Carter is going to remember him. Carter had so much fun sitting on his lap while PaPa would drive him around his house in his scooter. He would let Carter honk the horn. I have the stool that he made me when I moved into my own apartment. He knew I would be needing it to help me reach the tall stuff and I still use it. I smile every time I think of him.

I received a phone call from my mom today saying PaPa isn't doing too well. He has stopped eating and drinking. The doctors said they are going to stop all treatments in the next few days and are going to just keep him comfortable. As much as I didn't want to hear that I knew it was coming. His life the past few years haven't been what he would have wanted. He has always been a very active person and he had to hate the fact that his legs wouldn't let him do the things he liked to do. He fell and broke his hip on Father's Day this year and it has been down hill from there. I don't understand how something as simple as that can cause a person's body to deteriorate like this. I know he is going on to see MaMa and my Aunt Janice and they are going to be so happy to see him but it makes me so sad to see him go. PaPa was the man that was going to live forever.

So, on Sunday, on our way to San Diego, we are going to stop in Abilene. We are going to meet my mom for breakfast and I'm going to go see PaPa for what I hope isn't the last time. I don't want the boys to see him. I want Carter's memories to be what they are and I don't want that to change. However, if it is the last time I see him at least I can tell him one last time how much I love him and how much he has meant to me for thirty years.

Sick

It seems like with a family of five someone is always sick. I long for the day when all five of us are healthy at the same time! :) John has another sinus infection. This is like his third one in the past two months. He is back on antibiotics and some steroids. Preston had a stomach bug on Friday and now on Sunday Carter has it. Preston only thew up a couple of times and acted completely fine in between. Carter started throwing up right after dinner and hasn't stopped. Since about 7 tonight he has thrown up at least 7 times. It is now 10:00 and he just fell asleep. I pray that noone else gets this. I am doing my best in sanitizing everything and washing and washing and washing.