I think everyone in their life has wake-up calls at some point or another. I had my first wake up call when I was 16 and thought I was invincible as most teenagers do and totalled a car. That car wreck left me with two broken ankles and a broken hand. It also made me cherish my life and made me realize that there is a reason I'm on Earth and God has big plans for me. Well, at the age of 30, I had another wake-up call. As you know from my previous posts, I have had a terrible time this past year with right hip/leg pain resulting from a herniated disc, my L4/L5 to be exact. I have had 2 rounds of oral steroids, 2 steroid injections and tons of pain medications to no avail. I have visited so many different doctors and it came down to having back surgery. Thirty years old and having back surgery...talk about scary!!! We met with one final doctor to make sure that was my very last option, Dr. Gill. He is one of those non-sugar coating tell it how it is kind of doctors...great doctor but zero bedside manners. He told me that I have the back of a FIFTY year old!! What?!?! My MRI indicated that I have degenerative disc disease and he said to expect FIVE back surgeries by the time I'm FORTY!! I could hardly believe what he was telling me and it was taking everything in me to not break down and cry in the middle of the appointment. I have never had back problems and I don't have a clue how I even herniated this disc in the first place. He said that 60% of this is genetics and my Grandmother had countless back surgeries in her life and evidently that gene was graciously passed down to me.
So, I decided that surgery was my best option. I met with two doctors at Spine Team Texas in Rockwall on the recommendation of my chiropractor, Dr. Reif. I was highly impressed with this team of doctors and their facility. They try to focus on non-surgical treatment first but agreed that surgery was the next step. John did the research on the surgeon and he had a good background and we really liked him. It's crazy though...the anesthesiologist that me met with first to inquire about possibly a third injection first is a year younger than me and John. That just blows my mind. The surgeon is much older though and is a whopping 33 years old, lol.
I had surgery last week. Tomorrow will mark the one week. I checked into the hospital at 6:00 am and was wheeled back to OR at 7:30. I woke up around 9:30 and was in less pain than I was when I arrived at the hospital. I knew in my heart that I had made the absolute best decision.
This past week hasn't been an easy week, though. I haven't been able to lift anything heavier than 10 lbs or a gallon of milk. That has been very hard with having 3 kids, especially a 1 year old and a 4 month old. Preston is such a momma's boy and he doesn't understand that I can't pick him up and it has been super hard to not pick Liam up and love on him. I am proud to say that I have been "narcotic" pain med free for two days now!! I haven't gone a day without codeine in quite some time. I am taking some muscle relaxers as my back muscles are super tense but I'm hoping that goes away soon.
I go back for my follow up appointment on Thursday at which time I will find out about physical therapy. Physical therapy will kick start my new life.
The wake-up call I have had is that I'm a product of how I treat my body and how I take care of it. God has given me this one body to have here on Earth and it is up to me to take care of it. I can live care-free and destroy and possibly not live to see an old age or I can choose to take care of it and give it the respect it so dearly deserves. My kids need to learn from me and John what it means to be healthy and lead a healthy lifestyle. I need to cherish my body. It is up to me to prove to that doctor that I will NOT have five back surgeries by the time I'm forty.
I am now extremely passionate about losing weight and getting into shape, not just to look good, but for my body to actually be healthier. I want to be able to encourage my kids to play sports and get outside and move. I want to be able to lead by example. I don't want to be one of those "do as I say not as I do" type of moms. If I expect my kids to eat their vegetables, I need to be expected to eat them as well.
This has definitely been an unexpected turn in my life, but it isn't the first nor will it be the last. However, I'm choosing to make the best of it and turn it into a good situation. My thirties are going to be much better than my twenties...I'm determined to make it better!!!
Showing posts with label Heather. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heather. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
A New Year
2009 has treated our family very well...we welcomed a another baby boy, became members of our church, started a new business, John was promoted and the list can go on and on. I hate New Year resolutions as I feel they are a bit cliche' but a new year can mean new beginnings. So for 2010 I am going to make some commitments for myself.
1. I am going to get fit by changing my lifestyle. I'm not going to crash diet and just try to lose weight but I am going to live a healthier life. I want my kids to live a healthy life and I need to be their role model. My ultimate goal is to lose about 70 pounds. I have started another blog to track my journey and hold myself accountable. Please follow it as it helps to know people are checking in on me! :) And encouragement never hurts either! lol
2. I am going to make my marriage a priority. John and I have a very healthy relationship but it kind of gets put to the side when you have 3 young children. I am going to make it a point to have date nights...even if that means we only go out for coffee.
3. I am going to follow through with my photography business. I am going to fill out the necessary paper work to get my dba and get a business checking account and all of the other fun stuff that goes along with a business. My goal for the first six months of this year is to build my portfolio and gain the necessary experience to call my self a professional photographer.
4. I am going to have more fun with my kids. I am going to get down on the floor and play more games and build more towers. I am going to take them to the park more. I am going to get out the paints more often and let them create things. I am going to take time to be a kid myself.
5. I am going to continue to build my relationship with God and continue to teach His word to my children. I am going to get our family more involved in the church and do more church activities.
6. I am going to spend less time in front of the computer and TV and enjoy life.
1. I am going to get fit by changing my lifestyle. I'm not going to crash diet and just try to lose weight but I am going to live a healthier life. I want my kids to live a healthy life and I need to be their role model. My ultimate goal is to lose about 70 pounds. I have started another blog to track my journey and hold myself accountable. Please follow it as it helps to know people are checking in on me! :) And encouragement never hurts either! lol
2. I am going to make my marriage a priority. John and I have a very healthy relationship but it kind of gets put to the side when you have 3 young children. I am going to make it a point to have date nights...even if that means we only go out for coffee.
3. I am going to follow through with my photography business. I am going to fill out the necessary paper work to get my dba and get a business checking account and all of the other fun stuff that goes along with a business. My goal for the first six months of this year is to build my portfolio and gain the necessary experience to call my self a professional photographer.
4. I am going to have more fun with my kids. I am going to get down on the floor and play more games and build more towers. I am going to take them to the park more. I am going to get out the paints more often and let them create things. I am going to take time to be a kid myself.
5. I am going to continue to build my relationship with God and continue to teach His word to my children. I am going to get our family more involved in the church and do more church activities.
6. I am going to spend less time in front of the computer and TV and enjoy life.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Excited
I am finally excited to be getting my life back. These past couple of months have been some tough ones. They have been great, don't get me wrong. I have just been struggling with things. Having a newborn is always a little rough. It's hard just to find that groove and routine and then to have that mesh with the routine of what is already established with the rest of the family.
Liam has been a great baby! He is very laid back and is happy as can be as long as he is in his bouncy seat. He hates the swing but LOVES the bouncy seat. He has been napping in that thing since we brought him home from the hospital. I finally had him take a nap in his crib yesterday. It was the first time he had ever slept in his room. At night, he will sleep for a solid 6 hours and sometimes longer. He is still sleeping in the pack n' play next to me. I really like him in our room so I'm not sure when I will move him to his room. I plan on having him take naps in his room from now on, though, so he can get used to his bed.
I went on Thursday and had my first injection in my back. It was a very simple procedure. They sedated me and then I woke up and went home. I had to ask a nurse if they even did the injection because I didn't even know I had gone to sleep. It was crazy. I have finally had some relief. The pain isn't completely gone but it is tolerable. Last week, I did decide to switch Liam over to formula. This allowed me to take other medications to help with the pain. Part of me is okay with switching him and part of me is upset. I'm sad that I gave in and sad that I will never have the opportunity to nurse another child. I am happy, though, for selfish reasons. I can now go out without him and not worry about feeding him or needing to pump. I reassure myself that I did what was best for my family and for myself. He had breastmilk for a solid 6 weeks and that is better than nothing. I cannot put guilt on myself for this.
Another thing I have been struggling with is post partum depression. I had feared this since I was already having these feelings while pregnant. Looking back, I think I might have had a bit of ppd after Carter was born but not to this degree. I am normally a very happy and opitmistic person. However, this past month has been an uphill battle for some reason. I know the thoughts I have and feelings I have are irrational but I can't make them stop. I sometimes think I'm going a little crazy. I know I have a very supportive husband and very supportive group of friends. However, I have never felt so alone. I can't explain it. I have a great doctor who is very on top of my meds and has kept communication open with me on me getting better. These past few days have been better. I am finally feeling like myself again. It is so refreshing to see the light. I feel like I am becoming alive again, as cheesy as that sounds.
Tonight, I have been wasting a lot of time on the computer which I normally don't get to do. I have been reading blogs and finding other blogs from friends of friends and etc. I ran across a blog of a photographer based out of Abilene. I then continued over to her website. She is an amazing photographer. She captures true emotions in the people she photographs. She had the perfect music and I normally don't like music on website but hers was perfect. I was drawn to her website and couldn't leave until I had seen all of the pictures she posted in her galleries. She inspired me. She made me realize, again, why I want to become a photographer. I want to capture those moments in time. I want to give people that gift. I want emotions captured that words cannot express.
I have put my photography on the backburner these past couple of months. I'm not sure if it's because I have been busy with a newborn and two other boys or because I've just been down. But the fire has been lighted again. I cannot wait to start taking pictures again and finishing up the class I signed up for 6 months ago. I'm excited to learn something new daily and put it into action. I'm excited to spread the word to friends and family so I can take pictures of other people besides my kids! :)
It is amazing what one website and the abscense of pain can do! So, all of this to say that I'm excited about life and what's to come!!
Liam has been a great baby! He is very laid back and is happy as can be as long as he is in his bouncy seat. He hates the swing but LOVES the bouncy seat. He has been napping in that thing since we brought him home from the hospital. I finally had him take a nap in his crib yesterday. It was the first time he had ever slept in his room. At night, he will sleep for a solid 6 hours and sometimes longer. He is still sleeping in the pack n' play next to me. I really like him in our room so I'm not sure when I will move him to his room. I plan on having him take naps in his room from now on, though, so he can get used to his bed.
I went on Thursday and had my first injection in my back. It was a very simple procedure. They sedated me and then I woke up and went home. I had to ask a nurse if they even did the injection because I didn't even know I had gone to sleep. It was crazy. I have finally had some relief. The pain isn't completely gone but it is tolerable. Last week, I did decide to switch Liam over to formula. This allowed me to take other medications to help with the pain. Part of me is okay with switching him and part of me is upset. I'm sad that I gave in and sad that I will never have the opportunity to nurse another child. I am happy, though, for selfish reasons. I can now go out without him and not worry about feeding him or needing to pump. I reassure myself that I did what was best for my family and for myself. He had breastmilk for a solid 6 weeks and that is better than nothing. I cannot put guilt on myself for this.
Another thing I have been struggling with is post partum depression. I had feared this since I was already having these feelings while pregnant. Looking back, I think I might have had a bit of ppd after Carter was born but not to this degree. I am normally a very happy and opitmistic person. However, this past month has been an uphill battle for some reason. I know the thoughts I have and feelings I have are irrational but I can't make them stop. I sometimes think I'm going a little crazy. I know I have a very supportive husband and very supportive group of friends. However, I have never felt so alone. I can't explain it. I have a great doctor who is very on top of my meds and has kept communication open with me on me getting better. These past few days have been better. I am finally feeling like myself again. It is so refreshing to see the light. I feel like I am becoming alive again, as cheesy as that sounds.
Tonight, I have been wasting a lot of time on the computer which I normally don't get to do. I have been reading blogs and finding other blogs from friends of friends and etc. I ran across a blog of a photographer based out of Abilene. I then continued over to her website. She is an amazing photographer. She captures true emotions in the people she photographs. She had the perfect music and I normally don't like music on website but hers was perfect. I was drawn to her website and couldn't leave until I had seen all of the pictures she posted in her galleries. She inspired me. She made me realize, again, why I want to become a photographer. I want to capture those moments in time. I want to give people that gift. I want emotions captured that words cannot express.
I have put my photography on the backburner these past couple of months. I'm not sure if it's because I have been busy with a newborn and two other boys or because I've just been down. But the fire has been lighted again. I cannot wait to start taking pictures again and finishing up the class I signed up for 6 months ago. I'm excited to learn something new daily and put it into action. I'm excited to spread the word to friends and family so I can take pictures of other people besides my kids! :)
It is amazing what one website and the abscense of pain can do! So, all of this to say that I'm excited about life and what's to come!!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Nervous
I am now 3 days away from meeting Baby Boy #3. Which by the way, I cannot wait to tell everyone his name! It will be nice to refer to him as his real name and not Baby. But anyways...I am getting very anxious and nervous. In a way it has been nice to have been surprised when my water broke and we just went to the hospital to deliver. This is so different now that I'm so close to my scheduled date. I have started to feel like I'm not prepared which I know that I am. All the baby needs is a place to sleep and a few clothes and blankets. All of which are ready. The anticipation of the c-section itself has me nervous. I have survived 2 c-sections and know this will be no different. I'm dreading the recovery process of it. I know I don't have a natural birth to compare it to but a c-section is definitely not a walk in the park. Seeing that it was just 13 months ago that I went through it, the pain is still fresh in my mind. The intense burn you feel when you stand up for the first time, the pain in the incision from moving into a different position in bed, and the pain after they take the epidural out - 24 hours later.
It is all worth it in the end as there truly is nothing like holding your newborn for the first time and looking into each other's eyes. It is amazing how there is that instant connection between a mom and her new baby. I'm excited to see Carter and Preston meet Baby for the first time. I'm excited to see every one's expression when we announce the name. I'm excited to find out how big Baby is. And I'm most excited to have our family of five complete.
I can't believe how I can have all of these emotions all at the same time - nervous, scared, excited, anxious, happy, sad... It will all come together though in just three short days!
It is all worth it in the end as there truly is nothing like holding your newborn for the first time and looking into each other's eyes. It is amazing how there is that instant connection between a mom and her new baby. I'm excited to see Carter and Preston meet Baby for the first time. I'm excited to see every one's expression when we announce the name. I'm excited to find out how big Baby is. And I'm most excited to have our family of five complete.
I can't believe how I can have all of these emotions all at the same time - nervous, scared, excited, anxious, happy, sad... It will all come together though in just three short days!
Really? Sick 3 Days Before Baby Comes?
I started feeling bad yesterday and started to run a low grade temperature. I had no other symptoms so I called and spoke to Dr. J's nurse. She told me to just take Tylenol and give her a call in the morning if I still had it. Then last night I started to get some major sinus pressure and Carter was getting a little nasally (is that a word?) too. Carter started to also run a low grade temp. He woke up in the middle of the night with a 101 temp. So, we gave him Tylenol and he got to sleep the rest of the night in our room. I called this morning and got him in to see Dr. M. They performed a flu test which came back negative, Thank God! So, he prescribed him a zpak just to be on the safe side. I spoke to my nurse this morning and as soon as I started talking she said, "Oh you don't sound good." LOL And I didn't feel good! She was so sweet and I didn't even have to go in to see the doctor. She called in a Zpak for me. I asked her if this would affect my c-section on Monday and she said the only reason they would delay it would be if I was still running a fever. I hope and pray that I'm not!!! We picked up both prescriptions and have already started them. I certainly don't want Carter sick and not able to be around the new baby. How heartbreaking would that be? And I most certainly don't want my c-section delayed. I am very ready to meet my third baby boy!!
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