Excited

I am finally excited to be getting my life back. These past couple of months have been some tough ones. They have been great, don't get me wrong. I have just been struggling with things. Having a newborn is always a little rough. It's hard just to find that groove and routine and then to have that mesh with the routine of what is already established with the rest of the family.

Liam has been a great baby! He is very laid back and is happy as can be as long as he is in his bouncy seat. He hates the swing but LOVES the bouncy seat. He has been napping in that thing since we brought him home from the hospital. I finally had him take a nap in his crib yesterday. It was the first time he had ever slept in his room. At night, he will sleep for a solid 6 hours and sometimes longer. He is still sleeping in the pack n' play next to me. I really like him in our room so I'm not sure when I will move him to his room. I plan on having him take naps in his room from now on, though, so he can get used to his bed.

I went on Thursday and had my first injection in my back. It was a very simple procedure. They sedated me and then I woke up and went home. I had to ask a nurse if they even did the injection because I didn't even know I had gone to sleep. It was crazy. I have finally had some relief. The pain isn't completely gone but it is tolerable. Last week, I did decide to switch Liam over to formula. This allowed me to take other medications to help with the pain. Part of me is okay with switching him and part of me is upset. I'm sad that I gave in and sad that I will never have the opportunity to nurse another child. I am happy, though, for selfish reasons. I can now go out without him and not worry about feeding him or needing to pump. I reassure myself that I did what was best for my family and for myself. He had breastmilk for a solid 6 weeks and that is better than nothing. I cannot put guilt on myself for this.

Another thing I have been struggling with is post partum depression. I had feared this since I was already having these feelings while pregnant. Looking back, I think I might have had a bit of ppd after Carter was born but not to this degree. I am normally a very happy and opitmistic person. However, this past month has been an uphill battle for some reason. I know the thoughts I have and feelings I have are irrational but I can't make them stop. I sometimes think I'm going a little crazy. I know I have a very supportive husband and very supportive group of friends. However, I have never felt so alone. I can't explain it. I have a great doctor who is very on top of my meds and has kept communication open with me on me getting better. These past few days have been better. I am finally feeling like myself again. It is so refreshing to see the light. I feel like I am becoming alive again, as cheesy as that sounds.

Tonight, I have been wasting a lot of time on the computer which I normally don't get to do. I have been reading blogs and finding other blogs from friends of friends and etc. I ran across a blog of a photographer based out of Abilene. I then continued over to her website. She is an amazing photographer. She captures true emotions in the people she photographs. She had the perfect music and I normally don't like music on website but hers was perfect. I was drawn to her website and couldn't leave until I had seen all of the pictures she posted in her galleries. She inspired me. She made me realize, again, why I want to become a photographer. I want to capture those moments in time. I want to give people that gift. I want emotions captured that words cannot express.

I have put my photography on the backburner these past couple of months. I'm not sure if it's because I have been busy with a newborn and two other boys or because I've just been down. But the fire has been lighted again. I cannot wait to start taking pictures again and finishing up the class I signed up for 6 months ago. I'm excited to learn something new daily and put it into action. I'm excited to spread the word to friends and family so I can take pictures of other people besides my kids! :)

It is amazing what one website and the abscense of pain can do! So, all of this to say that I'm excited about life and what's to come!!

Another Practice Photo Shoot

Yesterday I loaded the boys into the car around 8:30 and we headed to a nearby park for me to practice taking some pictures. Carter was a great sport but quickly got over it! He was fascinated by a turtle that was about 50 feet away from us. Preston did great and since he isn't a fan of the grass, he didn't move from his little blanket I sat him on. It quickly, as in a matter of 5 minutes, got super hot and humid so we were only there for about 30 minutes but I'm glad I took them out there. The more practice I get the better I am learning my camera and the better I can get. Not to mention the cute pictures I'm getting of my boys!! I just hope they don't hate me for always taking their pictures!! I posted some of the pictures on my other blog. I hope you enjoy!

Photo Session

Please check out my other blog!! I am super excited to have had my first practice photo shoot with the best little person to photograph!!

My New Adventure

I have decided to undertake a new adventure that I have been dreaming about for a long time. I have always had a passion for photography and treasure all of the moments I have captured from high school, college, my family, and especially my kids. I have finally decided that I could probably be pretty good at it and even make some money.

Two weeks ago I bought my first professional digital SLR camera. I got a Canon EOS 30D and so far I'm loving it!! I have yet to figure out how to actually work all of the settings but will hopefully get it down soon. I am reading the manual as well as another book I bought specifically about this camera. I am also planning to take a few classes through Collin County Community College's Continuing Education programs. I took one of their classes earlier this year for a basic point and shoot camera and enjoyed it.

I have been extremely blessed in the fact that one of my good friends, who is a photographer, has taken me under her wing. Sharon with Brannick Photography is a great photographer and has taken all of our family's pictures since Preston was born. I will be forever grateful for all she is helping me with.

Also, Ken Birdsell, with The Image After, as been an awesome help. He has been in the photography business for a long time and is full of knowledge. I know with Sharon and Ken's help I will be sucsessfull!

John has been such a great supporting husband in this journey. He is so encouraging and is just as excited about it as I am. He motivates me to learn all I can and is truly my number one supporter. I couldn't ask for a better husband!!

I am very nervous as I have never started anything like this and it can be very overwhelming. I am starting a separate blog just for my photography. I will hopefully start posting to it soon as I am learning and getting things off the ground.